"If wishes were horses, beggars would fly!"

At times I have felt the sole reason why a person exist is because he or she has some or the other wish. At every stage of life we have different set of desires, and perhaps it is these desires which help us keep going. An infant wishes to grow up as early he can, the grown ups wish could they ever be kids again. The new born wishes to have remained in the comfort of his/her mother's womb, while the one on the deathbed wishes he/she could live a little bit more. The busy souls desire for some time with their loved ones, the unemployed desire of a job that will keep them busy. The poor desire to be rich, the rich desire to be richer. The deprived desire to have some comfort in their life to keep them alive, the privileged would wish for more luxury. The lean desire to be fatter, the fat ones struggles to shed their weight. These wishes are so different in nature for different people, nonetheless for every person his/her wish is the most significant. A significant wish for one could be pretty negligible for other. Some wishes are long term, others quite instant. A wish could challenge a person to reach greater heights, it could also take the weak spirited ones on to the wrong paths.

And the wishes, the desires and aspirations remain till the moment one stays alive. Some live up to see some of their wishes getting fulfilled, but no one would have had all his/her wishes fulfilled.


We may have reasonable and unreasonable wishes. Though the wants are unreasonable we cannot necessarily stop ourselves from wanting/wishing. At times we do realize that there are few wishes which will remain confined to our dreams, that they are no going to be fulfilled. But still those wishes would be with us, it will be part of our thought process. Can we really define the feeling of being content, has anyone who is born as a human remain content about the things, the achievements, the accomplishments of his/her life. Doesn't he (the one who claims to be content) wish to do anything more in his life. Or are there any greater mortals who know what the ultimate satisfaction is, and wish for nothing more. I know it is good to feel happy about things you have, but even when a person is happy about the things in his/her life doesn't he/she wish anything more? I guess, they do still have wishes. Oh how badly I WISH, that I would wish for nothing any longer in this life :)

My dreams are your dreams!

Often times in my life, I have been asked this question "What would you want your kid to be in his/her life?” I end up being blank for sometime, frankly because I do not have an answer to the question. My argument is, how can I WANT my kids to be something specific in THEIR life? It is after all their life and it is what they want them to be in their own life which is significant. I do not want to impose my dreams on to my kids and in the process not letting them have their own dreams. All I would ideally want is to help them bring up in their life as good human beings; it is up to them where they want to end up in their life.

Dreams should be purely private; and till the time it remains private to an individual, the vigor and the passion to achieve those dreams are natural. The parents could help the kids by giving the kids ample opportunities (which they can afford) for the kids to pursue those dreams.

A common trend has been the case of passing the dreams/ambitions from one generation to the next. Parents of Mr. X wanted x to be an IAS, right from the time Mr. X was born the parents try to make him understand that he has to be an IAS, and that is his parents dream for him. So now Mr. X has to make his parents dreams, his own dream. In the process Mr. X might not really know what his natural passions are, or even if he knows he cannot pursue those passions as there are far more significant dreams in place. As Mr. X grows up, he tries his level best to be an IAS. But, the thing he does not realize is that he actually does not have the potential to be an IAS. Gradually, but surely his parents also realize that their dreams for their son will not be fulfilled and it will remain a dream for ever. Mr. X now struggles to find an alternate career (other than being a civil servant) in his life. And as Mr. X is a fighter, he manages to find a career which is fruitful enough. But Mr. X is not really sure if this fruitful job is what he longed for. Since, he is now grown up in life he cannot take undue risks to identify and pursue his passions. After all he has to get married, have his own family. How and where will he find time to think about or pursue his own dreams? Invariably he ends up with excuses, that he could not be an IAS as he did not have enough opportunities/resources or because of some misfortune.

As Mr. X has successfully managed to have a fruitful alternate career, he gets married easily and after few years Mr. X becomes a proud father of a girl. The day Mr. X's realizes that he is going to be a father, he starts dreaming that his son/daughter is going to be an IAS. The day Mr. X's dream spring's up, it would mark the end of dreams of his son/daughter about their own life. Mr. X proudly makes his wife aware of the plans. If Mr. X's wife also has her own set of dreams for her son/daughter, then they try to reach a consensus, based on which dream is bigger ;). Mr. X makes a point that he could not achieve his dreams (which are actually not his own dreams) as he had limited opportunities, but he will make sure that he gives all the opportunities to his kids to help them realize HIS dream. And this cycle of dreams goes on.... dreams passed from one generation to the other.

While these dreams are passed on from one generation to the other, at some stage the imposed dreams might get fulfilled. But, the point I would like to make is will those fulfillment of dreams would give them the utmost satisfaction in their life. Perhaps not, perhaps these passed on dreams have killed the ability of the new generation to have their own dreams. They fail to follow their own ambitions, pursue their own passions, simply because they do not have time invested for those. It is not about what we want our kids to be in their life, it should be what the kids think about their own life and understand where their interest in life lies. Parents can always help them make sensible and correct decisions, but the choice has to be their (the kid's).

One perfect example that comes to my mind is that of Harsha Bhogle. Harsha was born in Hyderabad to a Marathi speaking family. Harsha was quite good in studies and his parents were professors. Harsha completed his chemical engineering before graduating from IIM, Ahmedabad. Harsha's passion always lied associated with Cricket, though he never played any competitive cricket. In order to pursue HIS passion, he began his career as a commentator with AIR at the age of 19. Moving forward in this career, he has become one of the greatest cricket commentators today. Harsha knew where his passion was and he put his heart and soul to pursue HIS passion. Today the satisfaction he has with his job would be greater than many others. The joy he brings to the followers of the game with his commentary is paramount. The quality of his commentary is better than many other cricket pundits who have played competitive cricket though out their life. Harsha was able to identify his passion and he dedicated his life to follow that passion.

Our kids being an IAS, astronaut, writer, and lawyer are great things. But it would be greater if we allow our kids follow their own passion and we help them excel in their field of interest. Today we have parents who push their kids to be part of (Unreal) Reality shows and Talent hunts, but in doing so they fail to realize that they are taking away precious moments of their kids life, where they want to LIVE as kids. Let them LIVE their own life and they surely will end up being the REAL STARS of your and THEIR life (just with a little bit of guidance from your side).

I have talked a LOT; I hope I LIVE the talk :)